Say hi to...

My night thoughts.


Take my hand and lets fly away to the land of dreams where there's nothing else but peace, love, happyness and calmness.

Tonight I literally felt my own heart break to a thousands of peices.
I hide my pain inside the many layers of jokes and laughters.
And i guess...its kind of obviouse, my biggest problem though is that whenever i feel sad or depressed my body gets ill too, i get sick when im sad and its really not good, but there's not much i can do about it either.

I feel like my heart and soul is broken in a bunch of peices and i would love to fix them all but..i guess its easier to say that "im going to get happy, just give me some time" but what we all dont get is that..happyness is a mood that we honestly dont feel all that much, and its not a destination, you cant wish to get happy because we always find something that makes us sad and makes us selfdestruct.

God createt the earths biggest threat, the humans.
And we humans are either busy destroying eachother or ourselves.

We fear things and we always look down on ourselves
We want what we cant have
We hide our sadness with shallowness and by trying to get confirmation by others.
Like for us girls, we destroy eachother and search for guys to tell us that we're good enough.

We work so hard on being everything, especially us girls.
us girls this is what most people think we should be, even we try to follow it.
we're not supposed to be fat and definitly not too thin
not smart but not dumb
friendly but not too friendly
dont be a whore, but dont be a prude either.
look good but not to good.
stand out but not so much that people will notice you too much
and ofcourse the golden rule, be yourself, but make sure you fit in.

We people are proberbly the funniest and most retarded thing out there, arent we?
we hide our true feelings and ways by covering it up with the complete opposite.
We hide our desperation for love and confirmation by hornyness and shallowness.
We want to be the best without standing out to much
We dont want people to talk trash about us but still do it towards others.